Clean dad jokes, told properly.
A family-friendly library of 150 dad jokes and 25 riddles, written fresh in the classic question-and-punchline style. Every punchline stays tucked behind a tap, so you can guess first — or appoint one person to read the setups aloud and make the whole table wait. Animals, food, school, sports, weather, pure puns, and a shelf of riddles: all clean, all ages, all groan-certified.
- 175 jokes & riddles in the library
- 7 shelves to browse
- 25 on every shelf
- 100% clean — dinner-table safe
Joke of the day
One fresh joke every day, picked by the calendar. Today’s serving:
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Find a joke
Search the featured shelf by topic or keyword — try “hockey”, “snowman”, “cheese”, or “teapot” — or filter by shelf.
Showing all 28 featured jokes.
What do you call a dog who performs magic tricks?
A Labracadabrador.
What do you call a bull who's fast asleep?
A bulldozer.
Why don't oysters ever share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call cheese that belongs to somebody else?
Nacho cheese.
Why do watermelons have such fancy weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call a noodle in disguise?
An im-pasta.
What do you call a potato who reports the news?
A common-tater.
What is a math teacher's favourite season?
Sum-mer.
Why was the student's report card soggy?
Every mark was below C level.
Which dinosaur always aced the spelling test?
The thesaurus.
What is a snake's favourite subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
What do hockey players and magicians have in common?
They both pull off hat tricks.
Why did the golfer pack two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
He needed his quarter back.
Why did the stadium get so warm after the game ended?
All the fans had gone home.
What does a cloud put on under its raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What did the fog whisper to the coastline?
“I mist you already.”
How does a snowman get to work in the morning?
By icicle.
How can you tell it's a true Canadian cold snap?
Even the snowmen are asking to come inside.
I run all day but never walk, I have a mouth but never talk, and I have a bed but never sleep. What am I?
A river.
I belong entirely to you, yet your friends use me more than you do. What am I?
Your name.
What can travel all the way around the world and still stay in its corner?
A postage stamp.
I begin with T, I end with T, and I have T inside me. What am I?
A teapot.
Why did the loonie go to the doctor?
It wasn't making any cents at all.
What do you call a vegetable who sings rock and roll?
Elvis Parsley.
How do you throw a party in outer space?
You planet well in advance.
What did the beach say when the tide came back in?
“Long time, no sea.”
Browse the shelves
Seven shelves, twenty-five jokes apiece — 175 in total.
jokes
Twenty-five original animal dad jokes — cows with cow-culators, dogs who do magic, owls who are a hoot, and a bear with no teeth. Clean, classic question-and-punchline jokes, safe for the whole family.
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Twenty-five original food and kitchen dad jokes — nacho cheese, im-pastas, crumby cookies, and a potato who reports the news. Clean, classic question-and-punchline jokes for the dinner table.
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Twenty-five original school and classroom dad jokes — worried math books, bright students, a thesaurus who aces spelling, and marks below C level. Clean and kid-safe, every one of them.
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Twenty-five original sports dad jokes — hockey hat tricks and puck-stars up front, plus quarter backs, clean sheets, ball hogs, and fans who keep stadiums warm. Clean, classic, and safe for the whole arena.
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Twenty-five original weather and seasons dad jokes — snowmen at work, clouds in thunderwear, rising temperatures, and cold snaps so Canadian even the snowmen come inside. Clean and classic, all winter long.
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Twenty-five classic-style riddles with tap-to-reveal answers — a piano full of keys, a river that never sleeps, and a teapot with T inside it. Family-friendly brain-teasers, written fresh.
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Twenty-five original pun jokes — pure wordplay grouped by theme: Money, Music, Space, and The Sea. Loonies that make no cents, Elvis Parsley, well-planned space parties, and shell-phones. Clean and classic.
💡 Shelf25 punsHow dad jokes work
Four steps, perfected over generations of long car rides.
Deadpan delivery
Say the setup like you’re reading the weather forecast. The straighter the face, the harder the punchline lands.
The sacred pause
Stop for one full beat before the punchline. Let them guess. Let them dread it. Then deliver.
Full commitment
Never apologise mid-joke, never explain the pun, and never laugh first. Say the wordplay like it’s the most sensible sentence ever spoken.
The groan is the applause
A groan is a five-star review. Eye-rolls count double. If nobody groans, the joke was too good — tell it again at dinner.
House rules of the library
Every joke on these shelves was checked against three rules before it earned its card:
- Clean enough for the dinner table. If it couldn’t be told to a classroom, it didn’t make the shelf.
- Written fresh. Classic question-and-punchline form, new wording — no joke here was lifted from a book or a website.
- Guess before you tap. The punchline stays hidden until you tap, because half the fun is the table shouting guesses first.