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School & Classroom Jokes
School jokes have to pass the toughest audience there is: actual students. These twenty-five are all classroom-safe — pencils, books, clocks, and one very forgiving eraser. Tap any card for the punchline, and feel free to test them on your class.
Why did the student bring a ladder on the first day?
He'd heard he was starting high school.
What did the pen say to the pencil?
“You've really got a point there.”
Why did the math book look so worried?
It was full of problems.
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in class?
Her students were just that bright.
Why did the book feel awkward at the library?
It was totally shelf-conscious.
Why was the broom late for school?
It over-swept.
What do librarians pack for a fishing trip?
Plenty of bookworms.
Why did the clock get in trouble at school?
For tocking back to the teacher.
What is a math teacher's favourite season?
Sum-mer.
Why did the student sit on the classroom clock?
He really wanted to be on time.
What did the calculator say to the nervous student?
“Relax — you can count on me.”
What building has more stories than any other?
The library.
Why did the scissors win the school award?
They were a cut above the rest.
Why was the history textbook always yawning?
It had too many dates to keep track of.
What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
“Stop going in circles and get to the point.”
Why was the student's report card soggy?
Every mark was below C level.
Which dinosaur always aced the spelling test?
The thesaurus.
Why did the teacher dive into the swimming pool?
She wanted to test the water.
Why are erasers the most forgiving things in your pencil case?
They believe everyone deserves a clean start.
What is a snake's favourite subject in school?
Hiss-tory.
Why did the student take his textbook on the airplane?
He was hoping for a higher education.
What did the ruler say to settle the class down?
“Let's get one thing straight.”
Why did the crayon go to the school nurse?
It was feeling a little drawn.
Why did the student bring string to English class?
In case he needed to tie up the loose ends of his essay.
Why did the music class climb the stairs together?
The teacher wanted them to reach the high notes.
Telling them well
Teachers: the clock joke (number 8) works best told while pointing at the actual clock. Students: the report card joke (number 16) should be deployed at home with great care and perfect timing.
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25 jokes on this one — 25 waiting on each of the others.