← All shelves · The Dad Joke Library
Pun Jokes
This shelf is for the purists: nothing but wordplay, organised by theme so you can restock your supply by subject. Money first (the loonie joke is Canadian legal tender humour), then Music, Space, and The Sea. Tap any card for the punchline.
Money
Why did the man bring a ladder to the bank?
He'd heard the interest rates were sky-high.
Why did the loonie go to the doctor?
It wasn't making any cents at all.
What did the piggy bank say after a big deposit?
“Now we're really adding up.”
Why don't cows ever pay with bills?
They'd rather use moo-lah.
Why did the fish refuse to borrow money?
It didn't want to end up owing a loan shark.
Why did the belt go to the bank?
It needed to tighten its budget.
Why did the computer visit the bank?
To check on its cache balance.
Music
What do you call an insect that loves to sing?
A hum-bug.
Why did the piano book a dentist appointment?
One of its keys had started to ache.
What musical instrument might you find in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
What do you call a vegetable who sings rock and roll?
Elvis Parsley.
What did the drum say to the cymbal?
“Would you stop crashing my parties?”
Why did the band bring sandwiches to practice?
They were having a jam session.
Space
How do you throw a party in outer space?
You planet well in advance.
Why did the sun decide to skip college?
It already had a million degrees.
How do astronauts like their dinner served?
On flying saucers, of course.
Why have the aliens stopped visiting Earth?
They read the reviews — we only got one star.
What's an astronaut's favourite part of the keyboard?
The space bar.
Why did the little star go to the doctor?
It was feeling a bit dim lately.
The Sea
Why did the octopus hurry across the ocean floor?
He wanted to get to the other tide.
How do you make a squid laugh?
Give it ten-tickles.
What did the beach say when the tide came back in?
“Long time, no sea.”
What lies on the ocean floor, twitching nervously?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the lobster join the gym?
To build up his mussels.
How do clams call each other on the phone?
On their shell-phones.
Telling them well
Puns reward the pause. Say the setup, wait one full beat, and deliver the wordplay word like it's the most natural sentence in the world. The groan means it worked.
More shelves
25 puns on this one — 25 waiting on each of the others.